Mindful dating: The Keepler difference
Rachel Abramowitz
Illustrator: Jesse Zhang
May 1, 2021
Self-Growth

Have you ever wondered if there's life beyond the swipe? If so, you’re in good company. Many apps focus more on quick-reflex reactions and superficial searches than on making meaningful matches. I founded Keepler because I believe dating is an opportunity for growth, rather than a necessary evil.Our goal is to shift the online dating paradigm away from an external focus on someone else’s approval or attention and toward internal growth that actually helps you cultivate the relationship you want.So how does our new dating app move the needle? Keepler is rooted in behavioral science-based therapy; its functionality helps you develop the skills you need to show up strong and supported in the dating space. By building these skills—such as learning to be present, reframing limiting thoughts, and examining your values—your external experience of the world begins to improve. The result is deeper connections, both with yourself and others.

How Keepler Came to Life

I started Keepler after online dating on and off for several years in New York (famous for its onerous dating scene). Anyone who has been on a dating app knows that the experience can be lonely, frustrating, and fraught with anxiety. I recall feeling so isolated on these apps. I had been in therapy for 20 years, but it felt like everything I had learned about myself and how to relate to other people—what do I want, how can I communicate these desires without fear of upsetting someone, not worrying about whether or not a stranger likes me—just flew out the window the moment I logged on.Another issue that came up repeatedly for me and many of my friends was that the gamification and “shopping behavior” of the dating apps we were using did not allow for real human connection. I can’t even count the number of times I deleted each app in frustration, only to download it again as fear and desperation set in.After a few years, I knew it was time for a change, both personally and professionally. In business school at Dartmouth, I had the incredible opportunity to work with a team of undergrad designers. Together we created Keepler, a new dating app that embeds personal growth and mindfulness into the process of dating. This is the app I wish I'd had when I was trying to figure out how to date in this brave new world of ours. After all, we benefit from the principles of therapy in all aspects of our lives. Why not in our dating lives?

Where We’re Going

I’m so excited that the Keepler app will be in the world soon. (Until then, you can keep up here on our blog, Love, Keepler, and by subscribing to our newsletter.) Through Keepler, you’ll find a balance between self-reflection and real human connection. You'll build the skills to engage with people in meaningful ways while navigating your own personal growth.In developing Keepler, our team has examined all of our personal and societal assumptions about online dating to better help you represent yourself authentically, reflect upon what you really want in a partner, and connect with new people in an elevated way.I hope you’ll join us on this exciting and fulfilling journey—just bring your courage and curiosity.Because if wanting more is wrong, we don’t want to swipe right.With love,Rachel Abramowitz, founder of Keepler