How to Deal with Dating Anxiety

Dating anxiety is about as fun as a root canal, and often a lot more nerve-wracking. If you've ever felt your heart racing before a first date, rehearsed conversation starters in the mirror, or spent hours overthinking a text message, you're definitely not alone. We’re here to teach you how to deal with dating anxiety so you can develop tools to have fun while looking for love!

What Exactly Is Dating Anxiety?

Dating anxiety is that special cocktail of nerves, self-doubt, and worry that turns what should be an exciting experience into a stomach-churning challenge. It's that voice in your head that whispers, "What if they don't like me?" or "What if I say something stupid?" Trust me, we've all been there. 

Also, dating anxiety can reflect previous experiences in your life. A history of depression, generalized anxiety, body image issues, or just plain bad experiences on dates may trigger dating anxiety even if you’ve never dealt with it before. It can crop up at any time, or it may be an ongoing struggle. 

Why Dating Anxiety Happens

Regardless of your history, all of our brains are pretty good at creating worst-case scenarios. Maybe you've been hurt before, or perhaps you're worried about not measuring up to some impossible standard. Social media doesn't help either; scrolling through seemingly perfect relationships can make anyone feel like they're doing something wrong.

Basically, dating anxiety is when those normal nerves that come with vulnerability turn into something more. Instead of finding excitement in the unknowns of dating, every step becomes a major stressor. But don’t worry! Just because you’re feeling anxious now doesn’t mean that you can’t regain a grasp on your dating confidence. Let’s look at some ways to find your chill.

Practical Strategies to Manage Dating Anxiety

1. Reframe Your Thinking

Instead of seeing a date as a high-stakes job interview, think of it as just two people getting to know each other. Nobody's perfect, and nobody expects you to be. You're two humans trying to connect, and this is a low-stakes chance to find out more. That’s it. 

2. Prepare, But Don't Overthink

A little preparation can boost your confidence. Choose an outfit that makes you feel good and think of a few conversation starters, but don't script every single moment. Spontaneity is where real connections happen.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself? Probably not. Be kind and give yourself some grace in the process. Anxiety is normal, and it doesn't define your worth or your potential for a great relationship.

4. Use Breathing Techniques

When anxiety starts to creep in, try the 4-7-8 breathing technique. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. It sounds simple, but it works magic in calming those nervous jitters!

5. Create a Pre-Date Ritual

Developing a personal ritual can help you feel centered and confident before a date. This could be listening to a playlist that boosts your mood, doing a short meditation, writing in your Dating Diary, or even having a pep talk with yourself. Some people even love power posing for a few minutes!  Standing tall with your hands on your hips can actually increase your confidence hormones. The key is finding something that makes you feel grounded and reminds you of your worth independent of any date's outcome.

Lean into Your Friends and Make Connections

Whether a date goes well or poorly, the people in your life will be there to support you every step of the way. Of course, not everyone will share your exact experience, and that’s why having a dating support app at the ready can be a game-changer for people with dating anxiety. These easy-to-access tools can help you build confidence, skills, and the emotional resilience to work through any scenario. 

Typical dating apps like Tinder can be harsh environments, but there are many positive alternatives to swiping and sweating. Productive apps like Keepler don’t just hurl you into the dating world. They walk alongside you! The best options offer AI-powered feedback tools that help you recognize your patterns to confidence-building exercises tailored to your personal dating challenges. 

Real Talk: It's Okay to Seek Support

There's absolutely no shame in struggling with dating anxiety. In fact, recognizing it is the first step to managing it. Whether it's talking to friends, using supportive apps like Keepler, or even considering professional help, support is out there.

A Final Nugget of Wisdom

Dating should be fun. Yes, FUN! It's an opportunity to meet new people, learn about yourself, and maybe find a connection that’s truly special. Your nerves shouldn’t get to run the show, so learning how to deal with dating anxiety is a way to take the power back.

Remember, every person you meet has their own insecurities and challenges. You're not alone in this journey, and each date is just another step in understanding yourself and what you want. Thankfully, Keepler is at the ready to help guide you through any discomfort, check in with yourself, and build the skills you need to help you reach your romantic goals. 

If you’re struggling with how to deal with dating anxiety and you’re ready to explore a new path to happiness and fulfilling relationships, download Keepler and discover a new way to connect with people.